But beyond all the trivial sentiments, I ponder about what if all of those were nil. What if I worked somewhere else? What if I had different sets of friends and pursued something else? Did I ever have regrets catching up with Australian slang and almost becoming vegan? What if I didn't become a nurse? Leaving the good convenient life in the Philippines and dozens of great people behind, what difference would have it been if I stayed? Have I made the right decisions? Does God intend me to be where I am now?

I've learned about just living one day at a time. And that's a lot in four years. Through it all, I've countlessly juggled those questions around but mainly wondered about "what God's will really was". I've waited in vain before taking action. I've wasted precious time and resources. I've spent days worrying constantly on crossroads only to encounter the reality that whichever road I've pursued, God has always been there.




Whether I've strayed away from the reality He's long-determined me to be in, He would still be there. That even in the most miserable of days, He would always be present. And when the tables are turned to where they're ought to point at, behold, God is still there.

I've learned to trust Jesus in the process because it's not really about what I have been doing nor the titles and possessions I've gained along the way. Because the will, primarily, is the "being with Him" in all those; and "the becoming like Him" ultimately. So it's not really a question of how much we're missing out in life; it's how "much we're missing out pondering of the temporals outside the will of not being with Our Creator, the Ultimate Purpose-Giver, who through it all, has always just been right in front of us.